


Failure

by JessieMWilhelm



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Stan has lived a sad thirty years, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-05 00:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4158522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessieMWilhelm/pseuds/JessieMWilhelm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"undead-lee said to jessiemw14: CONGRATS ON 100 FOLLOWERS YOU DESERVE IT. For the prompt thing, can you do Stan missing Fiddles during the 30 years (at least I think it was 30 years) Fiddleford’s memory was gone? Thanks!“</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failure

**Author's Note:**

> Another Drabble I wrote for my 100 Follower celebration on my Tumblr account.  
> Please enjoy and mind the tags!

Stanford Pines believed for the longest time that he had failed.

Failed his brother, failed his lover, failed his family – just  _failed_.

Stan had watched his brother gone through that damn portal and no matter how hard he tried, no matter how hard he searched for those damn journals – it was no use at all, Stan thought that the thirty years that had passed since that day proved that he had failed to save his brother. Then he had pushed the man he loved away in anger, and by the time Stanford had found him again, he was forced to watch Fiddleford spiral into insanity. And finally he had pushed whatever remaining family he had left away, and essentially cut off all ties to them. For years Stanford searched for those journals and kept an eye on his past lover, but no matter how hard he tried – no matter what lengths he went to make amends with his past, he could never get rid of that guilt that followed him everywhere. But, none the less, Stanford kept hope that he’d get back his brother and Fiddleford.

And if Stanford was going to be brutally honest with himself – the only reason he hadn’t killed himself yet was because of that frail hope.

Stanford wouldn’t lie, he had on many occasions thought of taking his own life during those thirty years –  _thirty fucking years_ , God Stanford couldn’t believe it had been that long. A man could only take so much pain, regret, and guilt – but, Stanford Pines kept in the back of his head that this all was for Stanley, this was all for  _Fiddleford_. When times got rough, he reminded himself that without him there, no one would try to bring back his brother from that hellhole and no one would keep an eye on Fiddleford (that damn son of Fids was no help either) – if Stanford wasn’t there, God only knows what would happen.

It’s what he told himself, it’s what helped support that last piece of frail hope he had left.

Stan had many regrets – but, none were as strong as what had happened with Stanley and Fiddleford.

_Especially_ Fiddleford.

He knew he’d never get his lover back – but, a man could hope, there was always hope.

With a hefty sigh, Stanford stood and was about to head back to the gift shop of the mystery shack when the phone rang. With a raised eyebrow, Stanford tread his way to the phone and answered it.

“Hello?” There was a brief pause, “Oh hey kid, why you callin’… you want me to watch over  _who_  for the summer?”

Another pause as the chattering continued on the other line of the phone.

“My great niece and nephew huh? Twins too, uh…” Stanford paused during his own response, before mentally he told himself fuck it and continued on, “Yeah sure, but! But, you’re paying for their expenses during the summer got it?”

More chattering came before a clear and relieved thank you could be heard on the other line before Stan hung up.

“Mabel and Dipper huh… This’ll be interesting,” Stanford grinned, before he took a pause and a confused frown pulled at his lips, “What kinda name is “Dipper” anyways?”

Stan didn’t know it at the time, but his life was about to change very drastically due to two twelve year olds – hopefully he wouldn’t fail them too.


End file.
